In my new home office…

It’s been a while, dear readers.

I had the worst writer’s block, or perhaps I got too far into my head, and every time I would sit down to write, someone’s words of judgment would pop into my head, and before I knew it, I was spiraling down a rabbit hole.

Not all who wander are lost, and my wandering took me right out of a plane. I jumped, I took the leap, and I flew across the sky. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life.

Somehow, skydiving and flying through the sky left my fears, and I unlocked a part of my brain I had been using to keep my voice within. Who I was when I jumped out of the plane was not the same person who landed back on Earth.

I started writing again. Privately. Journalling. It had been a long time since I had honestly let go of what was in my mind.

The fear of someone else reading my writing was completely gone in my journal; who would read it? No one. Just let the words flow. So, for the last couple of months, I’ve been writing off and on inconsistently.

Last night, in the shower, I thought about this blog and what I had intended for it. I started blogging in 2020, and somehow, I let the voices of others define what my blog was about. It got into my head, and I began to let the voices of others become louder than my own.

I cheated myself out of the essence that is me and why I even started this in the first place: to just be the true me, the me that would write news scripts and post them on the mirror to read as if she was a news anchor. The me that wanted so badly to express in words what I could never in pictures with an Instagram caption.

This blog space was meant for me to write anything and everything. All the things that were making my life, this life that I’m living, an extraordinary adventure.

So, as I stepped out of the shower, I promised myself that I would write my first of many authentically me posts. And this time, actually post it.

Honesty matters—vulnerability matters. Being open about who you were at a moment in time when you were in a difficult or impossible place matters more than anything.

Neil Gaiman

LIFE UPDATES:

We have been living in an apartment for the last two years. City apartment living was exceptional, and honestly, it was the first place I never really wanted to leave. It was comfortable; I was drifting.

The kids were growing, and we needed more space, so the hunt for a new home was on. With the market being what the market is, we decided to rent, but even renting a four-bedroom home looked bleak.

Bad timing and a lousy market never wavered my faith in the power of the universe to always bring me exactly what I wanted. I did what I did every other time. I made a list, in the order of importance, of everything that I wanted in our new home. Ten things.

I got EVERYTHING I wanted.

Today, I sit in a beautiful big office that overlooks a backyard and is big enough to have my yoga mat and reading corner set up at all times.

My kids have their rooms (my daughter has her own master bedroom as the house came with two masters). They go to the school where we wanted, it’s a safe community area. The backyard is small and cute, and the mini patio and laundry room are perfect for catching the evening breeze and watching the squirrels.

Of course, the kitchen overlooks the backyard, and the house is an open concept with plenty of light and space. I am so blessed, and I feel like I manifested everything that I wanted.

Was it easy? No. Did I have to stretch outside my comfort zone to get to this place? 100%, but I’ll be damned if I don’t keep moving forward and raising my standards.

I committed myself that I would do the things that I had set out to do at the beginning of this year, one of which was to share more of my life on social media, to write down and share my thoughts and story. To stop being the person people say, “You should share that. It could be beneficial to others,” and become that person.

Who must I become to be at the level I envision myself? What habits do I need to adopt to be able to achieve the goals that I’ve set out for myself? What am I willing to do to create the life that I truly desire?

I’ve been drifting for the last two years and I’m done allowing the affairs of life to take me places I never intended to go. #justkeepswimming

Today, my life feels like I’m always rushing. I’m always in a state of panic and anxiety, and this morning, I said to myself no more. What would you want to do if you lived the life you truly wanted? So, I took time off and decided to finally stop hiding behind my journal and share the words that were always meant for this space.

One of my goals for 2023 was to start blogging weekly, and now that I truly have a space to sit down, where it is quiet and I can write without distractions, there are no more excuses I can come up with.

This morning, as I was reading my 9th self-development book of the year, it talked about fear and how fear of being condemned or judged was one of the biggest fears that held people back from doing what they wanted. From stepping into their full power and embracing who they are and what they are trying to share with the world.

It was just what I needed to march my ass up to my office and start writing this. There is so much I want to share with ya’ll. There is so much I want to say, and there is so much I want to write. It’s going to be an adventure.

However, I have to go to work, so I’ll leave you with this: this blog was always meant for me to share my journey, my life lessons, and an outlet just to be me. I’ve lost that along the way, but somehow, how I have found my way back and the journey to this place I am in now…well, it just gave me many more ideas to write about.

So stay tuned; it’s about to get vulnerable in here. 😉

Until next time…

A.A.