A Hipsy on a Meditation Journey

Dr. Joe Dispenza, where do I even begin? It’s been an incredible journey. One that I never expected to be on or even to find from practicing his meditations.

As I mentioned in my last blog post, attending his event had been on my vision board for a while. But I don’t think I ever truly wanted it or believed it could become my reality until that point in my life.

I look back now at how much I’ve changed from this process, and I think how incredible the synchronizations of life have been every step of the way. From me meeting someone who had attended one of his events, and sitting next to me silently for 10 days. I believe our souls connected on a level we will never know, and when we finally spoke to each other, I just knew we were meant to meet and that something was different about our interaction. Through her, I would gain insight and learn how to manifest everything I desired.

“Just do the meditations and see how quickly things will start changing for you,” She had told me. Growing up in a cult, and having to unbrainwash myself of all that I had been taught, I was cautious with what I allowed into my head, and guided meditation was first on that list of things I had marked off as “approach with caution”. When your mind is quiet and open, and your brainwaves have slowed down, it becomes easier to let in suggestions or thoughts you might not want. Approaching guided meditation with caution had kept me from ever really trying Dr Joe’s meditations, even though I was familiar with his work through his books.

But when I got home from my second 10-day Vipassana meditation sit, something had changed, and I began searching YouTube for some of his work to give it a try. Closing my eyes and opening my mind to the experience that his meditations are was the best decision I’ve made. I slowly started to fall in love with the process of rediscovering and dreaming again. At that point, life had hit a plateau, and I had forgotten what it was like to dream and build a life within my mind. I began to realize that the first time I did this (manifested a life), I was unconsciously building a dream life as an escape from the life that I was living, but this time was different. I was conscious, doing it with intention, awareness, and fully awake. I was daydreaming again, this time with attention!

When ticket sales for the event in Mexico, which was 3 days after my birthday, went live, I swear I was the first one there to purchase my ticket and room. I needed to know more. I needed a full immersion into this world that I was learning about. My meditation practice in Vipassana had taught me so many things about myself and had grounded me back to my roots, but this transcendental meditation stuff was taking my imagination to heights it had never been before, and I wanted, no, needed to know more.

I wanted to share a room with someone, but I didn’t want to share a room with a random stranger for 10 days, so I convinced my best girlfriend to go on vacation with me and split the room. She didn’t have to attend the meditation; she could have the “do nothing” vacation she kept talking about having. 10 days at a beautiful all-inclusive resort in Mexico. She was in, and with my ticket secured, I was set. I could not wait!

A couple of months before the event, we got hit with a decision: do we renew our lease at this 5-bedroom house or downgrade and move again? My daughter was moving out to college, so we no longer needed a big house. It made more sense for us to move, except that we didn’t have another place lined up, and our move date coincided with the day I would be in Mexico for the event. My ticket was paid for, so there was no backing out, and our landlord wasn’t budging on our move date. It was time to practice in reality what I was learning every day in my meditation practices. It was time to once again trust the unknown knowing it had never let me down.

We gave our landlord notice and started looking for a new place. Nothing was turning out to be the right price or the right size. Would I trust or would I panic? I had to keep reminding myself every day that the universe always had my back, and I continued to search, knowing that at the right time, the right place would show up. It had in the past, why would it not do it again?

We saw places, they weren’t right, we kept looking…we were one month out.

I spent hours on the app refreshing and searching. Don’t stop believing…hold on to that feeling!  The voice inside me sang…. something had to show up, at the right place at the right time. The universe was just testing meeeee!! Could I hold on to my belief that everything I needed would manifest to me at the right time?

Absolutely!!!

And ya’ll!! Just like that….

A house in the correct location, the right size, and that was previously overpriced (so we didn’t tour it) dropped right down to our budget. The moment I walked into the home with my realtor, it was as if the universe itself was saying, “I told you I got you, everything will always work out for you.” Our new home was perfect, and the best part was that the move-in date was our move-out date. Isn’t that the most serendipitous thing?

Since I would be away for the move, I started packing up our house early. Everything would be packed into boxes before I left, and my partner (a man, because yes, in this day and age I have to disclose his gender since our titling isn’t “normal” :P) and the kids (who are teenagers) would handle the rest of the move…packing up the last-minute essentials, and loading and unloading all the boxes. When I got back from the event, we would be in our new home, boxes everywhere, and I would handle the unpacking. All is fair in love and war, and my partner was an absolute trooper for handling and coordinating the entire move himself. He has definitely raised my standards for moving. I’ll have to travel every time we move from now on. 🙂

Everything had aligned so perfectly, and by the time I was on the plane to Mexico, I knew that going was exactly what I needed and where I was supposed to be. I was on the right path. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew it was going to change my life one way or another.

The resort was perfect, and the beach, though covered in seaweed when we arrived, was so beautiful. My friend and I arrived on a Sunday and checked into our room. After unpacking, we headed down to the beach to chill and enjoy the all-inclusive drinks. Dinner was amazing, and after way too many tequila shots, we ended up staying up most of the night, which probably wasn’t the smartest idea but…#yolo!!!

Registration for the event was on Monday, and the event itself started at 6 PM that evening. I was going to go early, but that didn’t happen because of how late we stayed up.  #tequila

 It worked out perfectly, though, because by the time I was alive, I ran into a British woman who I walked with to the registration area, and she told me her entire life story and why she was there. I wish I could tell you everything she told me because it was a truly fascinating story and she was such an incredible human, but to protect her privacy and because I don’t have her contact information to even ask her if I could to share, I’ll just leave you with the fact that her and I kept running into each other throughout the entire event and she would tell me about all the incredible things happening to her and I know that somewhere out there…she is everything she envisioned herself to be when we walked to the registration booth together.

I made it to registration at noon, and the line was mostly done. At registration, you got to pick a color from 7 different colors, and that became the group that you sat with every day. I chose pink because I loved the quote that came with it.  

I was in and out in under 15 minutes, which meant more beach and pool time for me. My friend and I hung out in the all-adult swimming pool and drank margaritas till I had to get ready for the first lecture.

The evening of the first night, we had a one- to two-hour lecture, followed by a short meditation. We were given instructions for the next day and told to keep tabs of the telegram app for updates and instructions daily. They like to keep the schedule a secret to keep you on your toes.

Every morning, the day started at 6 AM, with either a walking meditation on the beach or a meditation in the main conference hall. We were given lectures from Dr Joe Dispenza on the types of meditation, how it worked, and the data that they had been collecting to show how it was changing our mind and body. It was fascinating to see the work they were doing and how they were proving the science behind our minds. He followed it up with a meditation to practice what we had just learned about.

The coffee breaks were frequent enough, and they kept us well fed with constant snacks throughout the day. We had breakfast and lunch with our color group, and each group rotated between the different restaurants. This allowed us to sit with other people while eating and hear about their experiences. During meditation and lectures, each color sat in a designated section, but within your section, you could sit anywhere, allowing you to meet and talk with random people throughout the event.

Each meditation was unique, with four different meditations. Sitting down meditations, walking meditations, lying down meditations, and coherence healings. Coherence healings are next level and not something you can even imagine or experience until you do. I hadn’t really understood what a coherence healing was until I experienced it. Even though my friend from Vipassana had explained her experience to me. I didn’t get it until I got to experience it. It’s hard to describe, so I’m going to share with ya’ll my journal entry that I made right after the first healing.

Before I do, I have to give some context to this “opening your heart” phrase that I use. Before coming to Dr Joe’s seminar, my therapist had recommended this book to me, “Into the Magic Shop” by James R. Doty MD. In the book, he discusses his meditation experience and his approach to meditation. One of the steps that he says is very important in meditation is “opening your heart”. I didn’t quite understand it, and when I got to the event and Dr. Joe talked about opening my heart chakra and how it works, I wondered, was I even doing it right? How would I know that my heart was open?

During one of the initial meditations, where we were guided to move energy through our chakras, I had a strange experience. I felt the energy becoming stuck in my heart, accompanied by a pain as it moved into my throat, and then it seemed to get stuck there. In that meditation, I felt as if I couldn’t get the energy to move out of my throat, and my chest felt so heavy and somewhat painful. The next day after that meditation, I had what felt like a sore throat and ended up consulting with Dr. Chattington (ChatGPT) regarding my condition of trying to open my heart chakra and not being able to. Dr. Chattington told me that if energy was stuck in your heart or throat, it could manifest as a sore throat, and to focus on moving the energy past that. I was finally able to “move the energy” in a couple of meditation sessions after, but I was still unsure if I was opening my heart correctly and what that would even feel like.

I say all this because when the coherence healings happened, my heart burst wide open and I felt my heart opening for what felt like the first time in my life. I didn’t have to wonder, is my heart open? NO! I felt it. I felt all the love in my heart. It was something I had never experienced before. When your heart opens, you will know it. And gods, wow!!! It’s such an intense incredible feeling. Was this what I was missing my whole life? Had I really shut down my heart so much over the years so that I wasn’t even aware of how alive I felt when my heart was open? Opening my heart for the first time is something that I now close my eyes and relive every time. So much love. So much energy. So much…passion and gratitude…for life, for living.

I’ll let you be the judge, but here is my journal entry right after the experience.

I had no idea what to expect, but when he explained what we would be doing, healing, and messing with people’s energy like that, I could already feel and know that I would be affected in some way. On the break before the coherence healing, I took off my makeup and got my blind folds.

Little context here…I am someone who avoids physical contact with people I don’t know, as I can sense their energy. Good, bad, all of it. Touching someone, especially their hands…I can tell a lot about someone. So coming into this coherence healing with our hands on our heart and our energy centers open…this was something I knew already I would feel on a deep, deep level.

When we started outside with our hands on our hearts, I could already feel everyone getting on the same wavelength.

When we got into the room, I was thinking about the healee that I randomly sat with at lunch and how cool it would be to be directed to her. But when we walked in, this guy directed me to a little girl lying on the floor.

I knew the woman sitting across from me was the little girl’s mom. I could feel it, and tears started flowing from my eyes. Immediately, I could feel the little girl’s pain, I could feel the hurt her mom felt knowing her baby was in pain, and suddenly, as if every feeling sensor in my body activated, I could feel the energy in the room, I could feel everything.

When the meditation started, we were standing, and the tears were streaming down my face. Up until then, I had been trying to practice opening my heart, but I don’t think I ever really did, and Dr Joe was so right: when you heal someone else, you heal yourself.

When we sat down, I put on the blind folds, and the meditation went deeper. I started bawling and crying uncontrollably. With my hands on my heart, I gave love to all the versions of me that I had abandoned and judged so harshly that so desperately needed forgiveness, that needed love and healing.

And then, when I opened my hands to the little girl on the floor and connected with everyone in our group, I felt my heart open as I relaxed into the moment and let myself feel everything that little girl on the floor felt. I felt her pain, I felt the pain of her mom, and I let it all in. The tears flowed as I thought about her little life that she deserved to live, the love she deserved to have, the joys and adventures. I thought about what it would feel like to be that mom, to have my daughter lying there on the floor, and I gave every bit of love and energy from myself that I could. I projected all the energy that I could ever give to someone, and I felt a love that I had never felt in my life. It felt like waves of love and light were washing over me. I felt energy so strong, so much love, it was incredible.

I don’t know how else to describe how I felt, but for the first time in my life, while meditating, I opened my heart. Truly and beautifully, it was so painfully amazing and incredible.

When the meditation ended, I was still crying. And when I hugged the mom, we had a moment where we just held each other hugging and crying. It was so freaking beautiful to love this completely random stranger, whose name I didn’t know, whose story I would never know, but who I felt so connected with on a level I have never felt with anyone else.

It was the most liberating experience ever, and through it, my whole life just made sense.

All the pain, all the suffering, it all made sense, and it was all worth it.

To be there in that moment, to experience that immense amount of love.

It felt like I knew what my purpose was. To live in bliss and to heal others.

Hurt people, hurt people.

Healed people, love others and heal others.

Today I truly forgave myself, truly loved myself, and not in a way that I ever imagined. Today I healed by healing someone else.

Today I finally opened my heart, to love, to the possibilities of the unknown.

My life will never be the same again.

Today was an experience that truly and deeply and profoundly changed my life.

And I’m so freaking grateful!!!

The event ended on such a high note, with one of the last meditations we did being a coherence healing. I made new amazing friends, learned so much about meditation, and discovered its effects on our bodies. And I finally understood what it meant to open my heart, to myself and to others.

Today, as I write this blog post, I am 2 days away from a 100-day streak of meditating every day for an hour. I love who I am, I love who I am becoming and I am left in awe over the synchronicities of life and how incredible the universe is. This year has been a year of transformation. A year of rediscovering who I really am and who I am truly meant to be. This year, I’ve manifested everything I’ve desired and continue to manifest so much more, and I am proud to say that I have genuinely been present for every second of it.

This journey has brought me an adventure of unlearning and re-learning, loving harder, laughing more, crying for joy and sadness, overcoming challenges with grace, dancing in the rain, changing the boxes, living in the present moment, and trusting fully in the unknown.

I have seen good days, bad days, and everything in between, and I’m grateful for the chance to be here, alive, awake, aware, and present for every second.

I know my destination but I’m here learning to love and be fully present for the journey and in the process becoming the best version of myself yet.  

Until the next adventure…

A.A.