Where Am I?

I started this blog with the intention of writing everyday. No excuses. They say if you want to do anything you got to do it everyday, so why not start today?

I had all these big goals when starting this blog and this year, and I figured I would have so much to write about since 2021 is totally my year…and then we got covid when we got back from our week work trip in Dallas and life has kinda been on pause since. 😦

Holiday late nights and then going straight to hotel living and food brought our immune system down…and we caught the bug. It has not been a terrible experience for us. In fact the sickness I got April 2020 was 10,000% worse than this, (that was the last time I got sick.)

So here I am, stuck at home…sleeping alot, reading not as much as I should be, and appreciating mostly that I get to be home and work from home. 🙂 I kinda needed a break from humans in general.

I’ve been appreciating the silence, the moments that I can reflect on life and where I am wanting to go.

Dallas really opened my eyes to alot of what wanted in life and I realized that there are so many things in my life that I want to do but that I had to choose between what I wanted now and what I wanted most. And sometimes, the MOST…comes with a sacrifice.

Beginning of 2020 I got my real estate license (again, I had one in Chicago)…and I signed up with Keller Williams, believing and knowing that all my hopes and dreams of working for myself was just on the horizon. And then covid came and the world shut down in March, and all my plans….well they became just that…plans.

I struggled with my purpose all of 2020 and tried to quit my job in August so that I could focus on what I wanted and where I wanted to go. Real Estate…so I thought, as that seemed my only option for working for myself. I didn’t just want “another job”…I had a job, a good one, and if I was going to leave it was going to be for something better. Not just another job.

My manager was pregnant, so in the spirit of not burning bridges, I told them that I would stay for as long as they needed me too and then when she got back I would leave. We went into negotiations. Money, work, time…I had nothing to lose, and no where to go any way.

Real estate would always be there and I could do it on the side. So I said yes to their plans, and I took up the challenges we gave me. 4 months (roughly), 4 task I must complete, with a promise of a big bonus at my 6th year review.

6 years…yup, that feels like an eternity for me. I’ve never been in a place for this long, let alone a job for this long. My hipsy soul is always in turmoil every year in January as I wrap my head around the fact that my hipsy soul feels caged….or does it….

This year it’s been different…perhaps because I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. Maybe it’s the therapy and allowing myself a moment to express what is on my mind out loud. Maybe I’ve finally evolved into normalcy….nah, there still have been moments when I question if I’ve allowed myself to be stuck.

Or maybe…maybe my hipsy soul has finally realized that it doesn’t have anything to run from anymore. Maybe just maybe, this hipsy soul has finally found a home. A home that I can use as it’s stable base to always run back too when needing a break from the hipsy ways.

I’d gotten so used to running that every place I stayed felt like another cage trying to capture me. I’d gotten so used to protecting myself that I failed to notice I no longer needed protecting. Maybe this year it’s different because I’ve finally evolved and realized that I can still be the hipsy I want to be while cultivating a stable base that I can always call home.

So for the first time ever, I’ve decided to stop running. To stop looking for the next best thing, but to let go and give this one year, the focus that I could never give before because I was too busy feeling stuck.

It was time to make a choice, I had to choose between what I wanted now, and what I wanted most. And what I want most will take time, patience, sacrifice, and a willingness to say no to the things that are not EXACTLY on target for who I want to become.

Putting my real estate license on inactive was surprisingly harder than I thought it would be but at least I know that it’s always there when I need it again. Though if I’m being real with myself, being a real estate agent, was never in my calling. I just like the education. 🙂

So here I am, one week away from my 6 year review….and though it’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the last couple years, it feels different. Different because I’ve decided to make a difference. Different because for once it’s not about what they can give me, it’s me showing up to show them what I can give them.

I love money and I love making a difference in people’s lives. I live to expand in abundance, success, and love everyday, while inspiring others to do the same. And that’s what I’ve decided to focus on this year. More abundance, more success, more love and showing others that they too can have it all.

I know what I want, I know that I’ll get there…so I’m going to live everyday like I’m already there, because if I really think about it…I am already healthy, wealthy and beyond blessed!

A.A.